Healing Wounds We Didn’t Cause
Hey family!
Let’s be real—sometimes we’re carrying pain that didn’t start with us. Pain that’s been passed down like family recipes, except instead of nourishing us, it’s been weighing us down. And during Mental Health Awareness Month, it’s time we talk about it.
We’re talking about generational trauma—those heavy things our people have carried through slavery, colonization, migration, racism, displacement, and survival. Things that show up in our homes, our relationships, and even in our bodies… and we don’t always know why.
What Is Generational Trauma, Anyway?
You ever look at how your family handles stress and think, “Whew, we’ve been through some things”? That’s not just personality. That’s history showing up.
Generational trauma is the emotional and psychological pain passed from one generation to the next. It can show up as:
Always being in “survival mode”
Struggling to trust people or systems
Feeling like showing emotions = weakness
That deep, quiet grief you can’t name
It’s like your grandmother’s anxiety wrapped itself in silence, then made its way into your nervous system.
Why This Conversation Matters
In a lot of Black and Brown households, we’ve been taught to “just keep pushing,” “pray it away,” or “not air out family business.” But pushing through without healing? Without reconciliation? That’s how cycles keep going.
And let’s be clear—talking about this isn’t about blaming our elders. They did what they had to do. Many of them never had the chance or the language to heal. We’re the ones with access now. That makes US powerful. Let us not forget that one day WE will be the elders AND the ancestors.
So How Do We Start Healing?
Glad you asked. Healing generational trauma isn’t quick, but it is possible. Here’s how we start:
1. Call It What It Is
Sometimes just naming what you’ve experienced—abandonment, emotional neglect, fear-based parenting—can be a breakthrough. Learn the language. Read, journal, listen to folks telling the truth.
2. Break the Silence
Start having those brave conversations with family (if it’s safe), or chosen family, or even with yourself. Silence keeps wounds open. Talking helps them close.
3. Find a Therapist Who Gets You
Not all therapists are created equal. Look for folks who understand culture, race, and identity—therapists who won’t make you explain why your mom calling you five times a day isn’t always just love, sometimes it’s control. (You know what I mean.)
4. Lean Into Culture for Healing
Our traditions hold healing too. Whether it’s lighting a candle for your ancestors, cooking soul food with intention, or dancing it out to old-school jams—our culture holds medicine.
5. Set Boundaries Without Guilt
You are allowed to protect your peace—even if that means saying no, stepping back, or choosing rest. That’s not betrayal. That’s you rewriting the story.
Let’s Be Clear: Healing Is an Act of Resistance
Every time you choose therapy, take a nap, cry instead of shutting down, or speak truth instead of staying silent—you’re breaking the cycle. You’re honoring your people by saying: "It stops with me."
We don’t have to pass the pain down just because it was passed to us.
To everyone out here doing the work—whether quietly or out loud—you are seen, and you are not alone. Healing isn’t always pretty, but it’s powerful. And you don’t have to carry it all. Let’s make space to feel, to grow, and to heal together.
This Mental Health Awareness Month, let’s talk about the real stuff. Let’s choose healing. For us, for them, and for the ones coming after us.
